I recently read a sample of writing from a beginning author and I mentally cringed. It had all the elements that we have been told to use when writing. It had description, emotions, used all the senses, and was grammatically correct. So what was the problem? I'll see if I can create an example of what I mean.
Jane skipped into the mall. Her raven hair swung around her heart-shaped face. Her bright, blue eyes widened as she took in the glorious sights. She could smell buttery popcorn, sweet cotton candy and the spicy aroma of the Chinese restaurant. She queried her mother about going to the shoe store.
When they strolled inside, the barnyard smell of the leather overcame her senses. She reached out and felt the kitten soft material of a scarlet shoe that perched on the display stand. A girl with glossy brown curls and a happy smile asked if they needed help.
I don't know if I got the point across. It sounds really conceited to say that it's hard for me to write the proper- but not for books- way. Yes, you need to describe, a particularly difficult task for me. I like to carry my descriptions through conversation, so I have to consciously find the places a description is needed. Yes, you should use all the senses on occasion, or at least one or two. Yes you should use other words to show action. No, you shouldn't use a different word than asked or said, for the most part. (An ongoing debate among the writing world and you will see plenty of blogs about it.)
I think the key to good writing -of course I'm about to solve all your writing woes right here, right now-(NOT) is to write the way you talk. Now, as a YA author, I have to show more of an attitude than I normally would as a slightly older adult. ;) Then look at what you wrote and CRAFT it to make it better. Add some description. Change up some words. Mostly stick with said as it really is an invisible word for the most part. Eliminate the adverbs, cliche's, passive voice and all the other Newbie mistakes we've talked about. Write how people, your character, would talk, act, respond. How would they see things? Do you look at a pretty bird and think, "Oh, look at that elegantly feathered creature with the emerald wings and tangerine feet." Nope. You might however, say, "Wow, cool bird. I love that emerald green on its wings and the way it shimmers in the sun." Find a way to tell what someone looks like through action or conversation or careful description-beware the "so and so looked in the mirror" trick. Editors are on to that. Keep it real. If it sounds like a school assignment, then it's not fun to read, and above all, reading should be fun, fun, fun, sometimes scary, sad, tense, thrilling, but always FUN!
So, bottom line, forget the school writing rules, except for the punctuation and spelling part, or maybe just the spelling part. Keep it real.
If you do that, your book should end up being fun to read. And what's the most important point? That's right! Reading should be FUN! ( wow, will you look at all those exclamation points. Hmm must not have shown enough, too much tell.) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go back to the other Newbie mistake blogs. :)
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