Newbie No More

Hi Guys, (That's Yankee speak for Ya'll )

I haven't left you, but if you've followed all the Newbie mistakes as well as the other blog posts, you are a newbie no more. You've avoided all the newbie traps and pitfalls. So what now? What I want to discuss next is something that I need a lesson in as well. Using similies.  So before I take on this venture, I want to do some research and get some good examples, and I would love for you to do the same so you can share some of your favorite similies that you might have run across in your reading.

I hope you are a reader, because I think it will help you become a better writer. I read whatever fiction I can get my hands on and tend toward murder mysteries for reading, but write YA and sci-fi. I know you can be a good writer without being a reader, but it's like a school teacher that has never had kids. The teacher might be one of the best ever, but I think once you have your own children it gives you a little more insight and understanding. That's how I feel about reading and writing. So, as you read and you come across some great similies, jot them down and share with us at the next post. I hope to have some great ones for you too.

See you soon!

Editors Hate Them

...   

THOSE THREE LITTLE DOTS give Editors more headaches than all the other Newbie mistakes they come across.

And for some reason they get REALLY, REALLY, riled up about them. I read several articles about the use of ellipsis and I thought the writer was just a little bit obsessive scary.


Now, I don't know about you, but I felt I was pretty knowledgeable in English, having taught it most of my life. Unfortunately for me, I taught elementary so we didn't really cover ellipsis. I doubt I even knew the name of the little buggers before I started my edit on Golden Hope. I learned, or at the minimum, tried to comprehend the use of the ellipsis, as quickly as I could. I hoped to spare myself abject humiliation. Nope, didn't work. I still made mistakes, but I guarantee you this; when it comes to any kind of pause, I pull out my grammar guide. She can be taught! (only one exclamation mark so far, thumbs up)
Here is a definition for you, then we will discuss-quiz to follow.

The Ellipsis: is a series of dots that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word, sentence or whole section from the original text being quoted, and though necessary for syntactical construction, is not necessary for comprehension.^[1] Ellipses can also be used to indicate an unfinished thought or, at the end of a sentence, a trailing off into silence (aposiopesis), example: "But I thought he was . . .". When placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy or longing. The ellipsis calls for a slight pause in speech or any form of text, and can be used to suggest a tense or awkward momentary silence.
The most common form of an ellipsis is a row of three periods or full stops (. . .) or a pre-composed triple-dot glyph (…). The usage of the em dash (—) can overlap the usage of the ellipsis. The Chicago Manual of Style recommends that an ellipsis be formed by typing three periods, each with a space on both sides.
The triple-dot punctuation mark is also called a suspension point, points of ellipsis, periods of ellipsis, or colloquially, "dot-dot-dot".     quoted from Wikipedia  Highlights are mine.

Summary: You will use an ellipsis mostly when your character's speech trails off to nothingness. NOT when he or she is interrupted- that's an important distinction.

You may use an ellipsis if you're quoting someone and don't want to use the whole quote. So far I haven't needed to use that, but I write fiction so...
You may also use an ellipsis for suspense. I've actually used it that way. "And the name of our new colony is..."

So, if you're clear on how to use the ellipsis, my next advice to you is DON'T,  Not if you can help it. Just to be sure you get the real feeling of hatred the editors have for those dots, I will add a couple of quotes:

by Deb Taber, Apex Book Company:
"… those nasty little spots, the ones that make editors want to scratch their eyes out and scream 

by Deb Harris, All Things That Matter Press:"As a general rule, I intensely dislike them, since they are so often over/mis-used.  Rarely, and I do mean rarely, have I encountered an author who understands the proper use of ellipses."

Don't say you haven't been warned, cue loud scary noise, oooooaaaahhhh

Quiz: (I hope you paid attention)

You should use an ellipsis:
a) never
b) rarely
c) for fun to drive my editor crazy
d) what's an ellipsis?

The answer is ... b - rarely. TaDa! you get an A+

Next time we'll discuss the em dash, which will be a challenge because the text on my blog will not make an em dash. Stay tuned to see what I will do.

Now here's a question. Do any of you know how to use an emoticon here? I searched and searched. I don't want to pay for one. I'm too cheap. And there's no where to put a code on a post, so if you can give me a hand with this I'll give you a free ...

…

Newbie Mistake#7 Are You Writing for the Teacher?

I recently read a sample of writing from a beginning author and I mentally cringed. It had all the elements that we have been told to use when writing. It had description, emotions, used all the senses, and was grammatically correct. So what was the problem? I'll see if I can create an example of what I mean.

Jane skipped into the mall. Her raven hair swung around her heart-shaped face. Her bright, blue eyes widened as she took in the glorious sights. She could smell buttery popcorn, sweet cotton candy and the spicy aroma of the Chinese restaurant. She queried her mother about going to the shoe store. 

When they strolled inside, the barnyard smell of the leather overcame her senses. She reached out and felt the kitten soft material of a scarlet shoe that perched on the display stand. A girl with glossy brown curls and a happy smile asked if they needed help. 


I don't know if I got the point across. It sounds really conceited to say that it's hard for me to write the proper- but not for books- way. Yes, you need to describe, a particularly difficult task for me. I like to carry my descriptions through conversation, so I have to consciously find the places a description is needed. Yes, you should use all the senses on occasion, or at least one or two. Yes you should use other words to show action. No, you shouldn't use a different word than asked or said, for the most part. (An ongoing debate among the writing world and you will see plenty of blogs about it.)

I think the key to good writing -of course I'm about to solve all your writing woes right here, right now-(NOT)  is to write the way you talk. Now, as a YA author, I have to show more of an attitude than I normally would as a slightly older adult. ;) Then look at what you wrote and CRAFT it to make it better. Add some description. Change up some words. Mostly stick with said as it really is an invisible word for the most part. Eliminate the adverbs, cliche's, passive voice and all the other Newbie mistakes we've talked about. Write how people, your character, would talk, act, respond. How would they see things? Do you look at a pretty bird and think, "Oh, look at that elegantly feathered creature with the emerald wings and tangerine feet." Nope. You might however, say, "Wow, cool bird. I love that emerald green on its wings and the way it shimmers in the sun." Find a way to tell what someone looks like through action or conversation or careful description-beware the "so and so looked in the mirror" trick. Editors are on to that. Keep it real. If it sounds like a school assignment, then it's not fun to read, and above all, reading should be fun, fun, fun, sometimes scary, sad, tense, thrilling, but always FUN!

So, bottom line, forget the school writing rules, except for the punctuation and spelling part, or maybe just the spelling part. Keep it real.


 If you do that, your book should end up being fun to read. And what's the most important point? That's right! Reading should be FUN! ( wow, will you look at all those exclamation points. Hmm must not have shown enough, too much tell.) If you have no idea what I'm talking about, go back to the other Newbie mistake blogs. :)

Final Edits

Hi there, you may have noticed two things. One, this is not a Newbie mistake. and two, I said final edits not edit, because just when you think you've got it as good as you can, oops there goes another typo...

So, here are some suggested ways to read through your final manuscript, and fyi, that's after you've had someone else read it and before you have someone else read it again.

1. Read it outloud. You won't believe how many mistakes you will find or sentences that just don't roll off the tongue. You will hear repeated words and see missing words. It's crazy really. I had my kids trapped in the car on a trip so I  was reading my book to them and had to keep stopping to fix stuff. I even read one of my books to my class of fifth graders and kept a pencil handy to mark where I had to go back and fix something.

2. Read it backwards. Not as in- sdarwkcab ti dear-  but read each line starting from the ending to the beginning. This keeps you from remembering in your head and not seeing with your eyes. By now you would have edited your book many, many times and your mind knows what it wants to say. Often your fingers don't type what they're supposed to. It also keeps you from getting involved in the story and forgetting that you are EDITING. I love my book and my characters and even though I was sick of the whole thing by the time I got done because I had read it over, and over, I still would forget that I was editing.

3. Search for words you may have over used. I used "headed" way too many times in one of my books, as in headed out, headed toward, headed for, headed in the direction of, and my brother/pre-editor pointed that out. My real editor took me to task for not capitalizing mom and dad when used as a name and I KNEW that they should have been.

Now all this is after you have read the manuscript through several times killing all the Newbie mistakes we've already talked about.

Sick of your book yet? You will be, and it's okay, because that means you've worked really hard to make it the best that it can be!

Newbie mistake #5 Do cliche's work? Time will tell.

Cliche's may be as old as the hills, and some may be diamonds in the rough, but between you and me, I feel like haste makes waste in this instance. It's just a matter of time before an editor tells you to get rid of them, but time heals all wounds and you may decide the heck with it, I'm as brave as a lion, I'm going for it. But, alas, the writing is on the wall. The editor will definitely be laughing at you, not with you. There is, however, a silver lining, and that's if you have nerves of steel and a quick wit, you will learn that all's well that ends well. If you rewrite.

So, translation, don't use cliche's. Kill them. Now, these were examples of chiche'd phrases, but there are also cliche'd plots, descriptions and characters. Those are a little bit harder to recognize. Your pre-readers will help you find them and once you're aware of them, you'll see them pop up all over your manuscript. I couldn't believe how many I used in my first one. Google cliche's-that's how I wrote the above paragraph- and you might see some you recognize. Look through your book with a fine tooth comb-sorry, couldn't help myself- and look specifically for a situation or description that you may have seen or read before. Things that come to mind, creaky staircases, old crones, killer in the basement or attic, superhero shows up in time to save the day, etc... When I read things like that I want to say, yeah, yeah, get on with it. So keep your book alive and interesting, think hard and reword or twist things up a bit.

Good luck, and as always, if you have a question, I'm here for you. Email me at donnachubbauthor@gmail.com

Point of View Newbie mistake #4 POV

Point of view is a problem for many new writers. It was a frequent problem of mine until I finally understood exactly what the deal was. Later, you'll have to decide if you want to write from first person, I, me, we, or from third, she, he, Bob, whatever, but first, concentrate on controlling point of view throughout your writing.

Let's assume you're writing in third person. It's the easiest. I remember one place in my Golden Hope manuscript that I had a problem with POV. I was telling the story from Danielle, my main character's, POV, so everything I wrote had to be written as she would have seen it or lived it. In one spot, she and her mother were arguing and I wrote something like, Lisa ran her hand through her hair and sighed. I couldn't write that because, Danielle wouldn't think of her mother as Lisa, so I had to change it to something like, Danielle saw her mother run her hands through her hair, a sure sign she was getting frustrated. See what I mean. I couldn't change from what Danielle was observing to how her mother felt, at least not in the same paragraph. You can switch to someone else's viewpoint, but not usually until a scene change and you should try to keep the POV with the same character as much as possible. Now there are books that switch POV from one character to another, which is fun to do, but usually the POV switch will be a new chapter. So, check to see that as you're telling your story you make sure everything that is observed or thought comes from the same character.

Ex: John was tired. It had been a long day, and now his wife was pestering him with questions he was in no mood to answer. He sat down at the table and took a sip of his coffee. Nancy looked at John and noticed his eyes were red. He was rubbing his forehead too as if he had a headache.

Fix: John was tired. It had been a long day and now his wife was pestering him with questions he was in no mood to answer. He sat down at the table and took a sip of his coffee. He saw his wife look at him and frown. "Your eyes are red, John. Didn't you sleep well last night?" John rubbed his forehead to relieve the tight muscles.

Okay? Got it? If not, drop me a line and I'll be happy to try and explain it better.  Let me know if I can help you in any way.

Sneak peak at Lifestones, by Donna Chubb

Take a sneak peak at my next sci-fi-lite novel for middle grade. Feel free to comment.
www.sci-fi-lite.com